so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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