So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
