what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
