Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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