If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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