I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize