YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
