Got a toothbrush?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i think my cat just said my name.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize