I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We had to coat check the pizza.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
