Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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