Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
