i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
