Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
