Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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