You're completely useless in the revolution.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
