I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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