im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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