I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Im part way to drunk.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
