buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let's get the cat blown out
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
