maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
