false alarm. still invincible.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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