With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
