Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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