I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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