Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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