Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
