3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
