I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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