being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize