I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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