I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
