he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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