I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
