everyone is single if you try hard enough
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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