She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize