well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
