only you would photoshop your dick
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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