Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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