He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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