I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
