Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
