I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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