See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
