I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
