Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
