watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
