my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
