So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
