I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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