Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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