she woke up with a sticky ear
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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