Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
