Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
