I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
