fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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