I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
