don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
