The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize