Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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