Where is the hickey?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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