Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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