your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
