her facebook's as public as her vagina
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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