This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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