Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
