I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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