Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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